The idea of family worship & discipleship is
at once both attractive and intimidating. Believers may hear encouraging
testimonies of the benefits of family worship & discipleship from others,
but the thought of beginning a new pattern of worship & discipleship in the
home can be overwhelming for those just beginning. This guide is written to
address some of the most basic questions concerning family worship & discipleship.
The goal is to equip you, so that you will be able to enjoy the immense
blessings of family worship and discipleship in your family.
What does the Bible say about family worship?
Family worship as we know it is not explicitly
commanded in the Bible, but the importance of the home in discipleship is
prominent throughout the Scriptures. In the Old Testament, fathers are
commanded to teach their children throughout the day, even if that training is
informal: “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You
shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you
sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and
when you rise” (Deut. 6:6-7). But more formal
instruction is evident in passages such as (Ps. 78:5-7):
“He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he
commanded our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation
might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their
children, so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of
God, but keep his commandments.” Clearly, the family is central in passing
along the faith.
When we turn to the New Testament, fathers are
given the command to bring their children up in the discipline and instruction
of the Lord (Eph. 6:4). Timothy, a disciple of Paul, was discipled
first by his mother, Eunice, and his grandmother, Lois (2
Tim. 1:5). Their impact went beyond mere example. Paul encouraged Timothy
to continue in the faith found in the Scriptures. These Scriptures, Paul said,
Timothy had learned from childbirth (2
Tim. 3:15).
In summary, family worship in the Bible is
rooted in the idea of responsibility. Parents, especially fathers, are
primarily responsible for the spiritual instruction and vitality of their
families. The task is great and weighty, but God’s grace is greater and the
eternal rewards are beyond anything this world can offer.
What are the benefits of family worship?
Isn’t it enough to take my family to worship on
Sundays? How can I do something in my home that exceeds what takes place on the
Lord’s Day? Quite simply, we can’t replace what we do on Sundays. Indeed, that
is not the point. Framing the question in this way obscures the many benefits
of family worship that enhance (not replace) the value of what believers do on
the Lord’s Day. Among these benefits are the following:
Family worship brings glory to God
The ultimate goal of family worship is the glory
of God. God is most glorified when His people value Him above all other things.
Family worship is a visible reminder for all in the home that God is worthy of
our time, attention, and affection. Furthermore, family worship glorifies God
as His followers are conformed more and more into the image of Christ.
Family worship produces joy in the home
Jesus is an inexhaustible source of delight. The
joy He brings to individuals He will bring to families who delight in His
worship together. Furthermore, the love of Christ will more easily abound in a
home where worship is central. As one 19th century pastor noted,
family worship will “give true love toward those with whom we have to live: not
an exacting, sensitive love, but a merciful love, which excuses and forgives,
like that of God Himself; not a proud love, but a humble love, accompanied by a
sense of one's own faults and weakness; not a fickle love, but a love
unchangeable.” That is the kind of love that produces lasting joy among
husbands and wives, fathers and sons, mothers and daughters.
Family worship effects change in the world
Any change effected is by the grace of God, but
consider both the short-term and long-term impact of family worship. In the
short-term, God may be pleased to work through the prayers of a family that
prays nightly for the needs of people near and far. God may hear and answer the
prayers of a four-year-old girl asking for the spread of the gospel among an
unreached people group. In His sovereign response, missionaries may be sent,
the Bible may be translated, and churches may be started. All because God determined
to use the prayers prayed in a particular home by a particular family engaged
in family worship.
What should we do during family worship?
The consistent refrain of those who have made a
habit of family worship is this: keep it
simple. Many believers are intimated at the prospects of conducting a
worship service in their home. But keeping family worship simple can relieve
some of these anxieties. Along those lines, consider including the following
simple elements as you worship in your home:
Read
Read a portion of the Word together, either
chapter-by-chapter or a selection provided in a devotional guide. If children
are present, allowing them to read can be of great benefit to them. Of course,
you’ll want to explain difficult words and concepts. After reading the Word
together, work through a simple process of examining what has been read. First,
what did the passage say to the original readers? Second, what does the passage
mean for all time? Third, how does this passage apply to us as individuals, as
a family, and as a church?
Pray
Of course, there is no set
prescription for prayer in family worship. If you have a guide that encourages
specific areas of prayer, you may follow that. Alternatively, you may pray
through the acronym ACTS, voicing prayers of adoration, confession, thanksgiving,
and supplication (prayer for needs). In any event, try to include everyone as
you pray, even if this is on a rotating basis.
Additionally, you may want to maintain a prayer
journal that enables you to keep track of prayer requests and God’s answers to
those requests.
Sing
Sing together as a family. Again, songs may be
suggested through a devotional guide or you may select your own. If someone in
the family has musical gifts, they may learn to play several simple songs for
family worship. However, if no one in your family is musical, either use a
recording or sing a cappella.
Memorize
Whether a verse (or verses) is suggested or
selected by a family member, work on it together. The beginning of the week may
be spent both understanding and memorizing the verse. By the end of the week,
allow everyone to repeat the verse. Review of verses may be carried out over
the course of the year.
Frequently asked questions about family worship
What
if the father is not a Christian?
The commands regarding family discipleship in
the Bible assume a believing father in the home. Of course, this is not always
the case. In those instances where the father is not a believer, the mother
will need to assume this role. Donald Whitney rightly reminds us that this
initiative on the part of the mother must be done in a non-offensive and
non-threatening way.
What about a single parent family?
Again, in this case the
responsibility falls to the single parent. This is a heavy burden to bear in
addition to many other duties, but know that God will supply great grace and
will more than make up for any natural deficiency we may perceive.
What
if my kids are very young?
Having very young children will change the
dynamic of family worship considerably. Remember, however, that the goal for
every child in the family is not the same. With very young children, the goal
is probably not understanding of all matters of doctrine. A more “modest” goal
of impressing upon them the importance of family worship (and God) is more
reasonable and beneficial at their particular age.
How do I keep things
interesting if the age of my children varies widely?
For young children, try to include them as much
as possible and appropriate. Of course, all members of the family can pray and
sing (at least some songs). Furthermore, allow younger children to read when
possible. For the older children, try including them in the teaching and
application of the Scripture reading for the rest of the family and in the
leadership of prayer and singing on occasion.
What time of day is best for
family worship?
The time of day is not the most critical element of family
worship. Some families prefer to worship as the day begins. For others, the
morning hours are simply too hectic for family worship. In these cases, evening
may work best. Many families prefer to adjoin family worship to the evening
meal since all the family may be present at that time. In short, timing is far
less important than consistency.
Does family worship always
have to be formal?
Absolutely not! Let me
define “formal worship” and “informal worship”.
Formal worship would be a time of worship that is planned out before
hand and conducted at a particular time and place. There would be some type of formalities that
would be consistent each time. Informal
worship would be a time of worship that happens anytime and anywhere. This could take place in the car, at the ball
field, doctor’s office, etc.
Informal worship happens when you seek and act on the opportunities
that God gives you each and every day to share Christ with your family. For
example, you just got a phone call that revealed a death in the family. You could use this opportunity with your
family to pray and share Scripture together.
Another example could be your son or daughter begins to ask questions
doubting God’s love for them. You could
use this opportunity to reaffirm your child of the love that you have for them
and pointing them to the Cross and explain how much more God loves them.
The goal is to help construct a biblical worldview in the minds
and hearts of our children. When you
take any and every opportunity, both formal and informal to point them to
Christ, you will aid them in constructing a biblical worldview that will carry
on for the rest of their life.
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